Saturday, August 29, 2015

my fear of writing

The first step of overcoming a fear/problem/obstacle etc is by acknowledging it and not shoving it to the back of your head. Easier said than done but I'm gonna give it a shot.

Confession time: I have a fear of writing.


"Yty wtf are you cray cray you are writing now man afraid what shit oh"




OK FINE. I have a fear of writing ESSAYS, specifically essays that require you to answer questions like "Have the contributions of art added to the enrichment of modern living?" or "Discuss the benefits of tourism." But I'm ok with writing blogs because I'm not judged by my grammar or how extensive my vocab is. This is merely a place for me to write down my thoughts so that I can give myself peace of mind and spit out all the brain clutter. And writing this, I realize, 

I am not afraid to write, 
I'm afraid to suck. 
I'm afraid of being not good enough.

I'M SCARED SHITLESS. 

I am scared because I can't write on command, I need a lot of time arranging my thoughts into words. 
I am scared because I work long and hard for my essays but they're not even comparable to average American high school level essays.  
I am scared because I can't even converse in proper, fluent English. (and Malay)

And then I think, with nearly 13 years of education, what has gone wrong with me? Is it because of me, is it because of the environment that I have been born in? Is it the country?

Last week, I joined a volunteer program organized by Teach For Malaysia and met tons of talented individuals. Among them there's a medical student, there's one who wrote 3 books and tons who are studying overseas but came back to help. Imagine how inferior I felt being in their presence because I am just a poop machine who has nothing interesting to say about myself and not to mention my broken English. Luckily they're still very nice to me and made me feel less poopy. During the briefing session at the headquarters, I learned about this thing called locus of control.

Imagine this scenario:
You are a Maths teacher and one of your students always sleep in your class and doesn't seem to be interested or invested in his/her studies.

Then we are asked to identify what factors are in our control and what factors are out of our control. Everyone gave good answers, we can control our mood (don't get mad at the student), we can control our thoughts (not immediately perceiving the student as a lazy irresponsible ass), we can control our action (wake the kid up). However, we cannot control the student's action (the fact that he/she is sleeping), we cannot control his/her thoughts (maybe he/she thinks maths are for losers), we cannot control his/her background or environment (maybe he/she has to work part time after school to help out his/her family). 

However, it may not be that easy to identify what are the things that you can and cannot control when you face a certain problem. We tend to focus too much on the stuffs that we simply cannot control and feel really bad about yourself and blame everything on the current circumstances. Ex. me when I stalk 歐陽娜娜 T___T why so talented one????

This will lead to self-victimization and self-pity, which sometimes I caught myself doing. I'd feel like I am a victim of the failed education system of Malaysia and blame it further on the fact that I was born into a middle class family and not as privileged as those rich kids who get to attain quality education overseas, and therefore lead to me not being a good writer/speaker (?) 

Oh god I sound so pathetic. 

I'm gonna try extra hard to escape from this victim mentality. I believe that everyone has that fear of not being good enough in the back of their minds. But it's up to you whether to use that fear for motivation or get put down by it. To quote Grace Helbig from a commencement speech she gave: 

"...but then there's a second category of fear, there's good fears - fears that are born out of love and out of ambition.
The things that you're afraid of because you care so much, the opportunities you're afraid to take because you don't want to screw them up, the people you're afraid to talk to because you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of them,
and the paths that you're too afraid to take because it seems too uncertain, too unpredictable and just too uncomfortable. But when you're uncomfortable, that's when things really interesting."

And then another quote from her book The Art of Pretending to be a Grown-up:

"I've always had the mind-set of going into a situation with slightly lower expectations/standards and then letting myself be pleasantly surprised. Don't set yourself for failure - just make peace with it as a possible outcome. It might give you more confidence to acknowledge that this could end with rejection. I HATE to reference "YOLO"...so I won't. Just know we're all going to die someday and it's better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all."

Ending this super duper long post with an amazing keynote by Anna Akana. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoBNenPi1gs 27:16

Note:
*Locus of control: The ability to identify and relentlessly attack the problems that are within your control and worth solving to avoid obsessing about the ones that are not, and to conceive of setbacks as opportunities for personal learning.

  

Sunday, August 2, 2015

18

Semester break is here and finally I have the time to update my blog yay

1. Took part in a science exhibition! #vfun #muchinteresting




Me doing my job while the person behind me watches cat videos on youtube

video
Rainbow (?) flameeeee


2. The Grace Helbig Show on Astro what?????


V proud v proud

3. Birthday!


Thanks to Rogemond and Szeling for the chips and ice cream!!!! They are so so so good i can't urghhh

Stolen from Szeling's twitter btw chequers was real good


Thanks jeenie for the all the stuffs!!!!! rove you (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

Turning 18 is not as big of a deal as the way it's depicted on american tv shows, but it feels quite good to reach the age when you can watch every movie in the cinema (MAD MAX WAS MAD GOOD). 






#latelatelatebdaywish fly to taiwan to attend weibird's concert sobs



Tuesday, June 2, 2015

RAY BAN CLUBMASTER

I am not the type of girl who puts extra effort into her outfit, but going to college has made me think otherwise. I realized that appropriate clothes and accessories are really important in making a good first impression because the way you present yourself says a lot about who you are to the person you are meeting. 
So this year I've been trying to accessorize myself moar with accessories like sunglasses because they are perfect for sunny days and go really well with all of my clothes.

Here's a great guide on how to choose the right sunglasses:

Sunnies are awesome because you can simply carry them around in your bag, on your head or having a pair in your car. If you are wondering the perfect stylish sunglasses which can instantly perk up your look, Ray-Ban Clubmaster sunglasses collection is the answer. The Ray-Ban Clubmaster eye wear has that rugged yet trendy element which men and women can totally rock in style. 

Women who are looking to look stylish during their day out can flaunt the Ray Ban Clubmaster sunglasses without ever feeling out of date. You can create various fashion looks wearing Ray Ban Clubmaster sunglasses in your own unique style.

1. Casual Chic 


If you are a lazy piece of crap like me, sunnies are definitely for you. Just put a pair on with your favourite white tee and jeans and BAMF you can call yourself casual chic hell yeahhh. The Ray Ban Sunglasses are really convenient for people like me who is always on-the-go because you can look well put together in no time and also hide your panda eyes and bare face.

2. Classy and Sophisticated

The great thing about sunnies is that it makes you feel confident. Your facial features can be accentuated and enhanced once you find a design which matches your face shape, and congratulations, you are now officially one of the cool kids. 

T. Swizzle - President of the cool kids


3. Girly flare

Meanwhile, for the ladies who prefer a girly flare in their appearance can choose a brown coloured lens instead. Besides that, you can also choose a patterned design frame such as a leopard print sunnies to portray your girlish personality. Mix and match it with a dress or even a blouse and go about your day looking as fab as ever, just like T.Swizzle. 

She got a long list of Starbucks lovers.

Ok so hope you guys learned something from this post but even if you didn't, just DEAL WITH IT.
OBAMA AGREES. 



Sunglasses - making people look badass af since 200 BC ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Taipei Trip

LIFE UPDATE:
1. Got a job. (worked for like 3 months already ahhhh) (and quitted) 
2. Went to Taipei.
3. Became a college girl.
4. College is so mehhhhh

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to Taipei at the end of March with my couz and it was my first trip overseas without my parents (so adventure!!!!!!) Our flight got delayed and by the time we reached Hong Kong, the Cathay Pacific staffs said we cannot board our connecting flight to Taipei because the gates were closed, and so we're stuck in the Hong Kong airport 哭哭 

I was so sad and bummed that i took a pic of these Hong Kong airport trolleys. 

Impression of Hong Kong (airport):
1. So big!!!! I thought KLIA was huge but nope, HKIA wins
2. The guy at the sandwich counter spoke English with a British accent. So posh!!
3. Airport TVs no TVB to watch!!!!! WHY???點解????鄭嘉穎??? 

Fast forward to the next day.




THINGS GOT CREEPY AND DARK.
My couz and I went to Huashan 1914 Creative Park because that is where all the taiwanese hipsters go and be erm, hipsters. (trying hard to fit in like the locals) Tons of hipster products (or as how taiwanese say it, 文創設計商品) are sold there and no surprise, hipster stuffs are sibeh expensive. A sortof hipster-ish mini notebook costs like ntd350, so the conclusion is that you need to be rich to be a hipster. The artworks above were displayed at an art exhibition that we randomly stumbled upon, and the only reason we went in is because admission is free...

All the artworks at the exhibition is made solely by one artist who I guess, really likes teddy bears? (TOO SHALLOW FOR DEEP TEDDY BEAR ART)

Next, Taipei 101!!



The weather that day was quite hazy :(
Taipei 101 inside all ze fancy schmancy branded stuffs so we didn't really explore the place. So instead we rode the MRT to 象山站to climb the elephant mountain which only locals (or people who really do their research aka me) know to get the exclusive fancy schmancy but foc view of Taipei.


You can see how much I underestimated the height of the mountain judging by the clothes I wore (VERY STUPID) (NEARLY DIED)



VERY HAZY


I PLACED MY 象腿with the 象 sign because 他們很像i mean 很象 ok la no more lame puns

WE WAITED TILL 6.30PM FOR THE NIGHT VIEW HASHTAG DEDICATION


OK LA I DON'T BLAME THE HAZE MY PHOTOGRAPHING SKILLS ARE CRAP LA 

IT'S FOOD TIME. 

1. Ice monster 芒果冰
It was quite yummy and even though i was sharing it with my couz, the portion's still a lot, and then it got a little bit 膩towards the end, but luckily they provided condensed milk for you to add onto the dessert to 解膩(or give you diabetes)

2. MCD 蜂蜜咖哩豬排堡
100% recommend this yummy burgerz. Ze pork was tender and the lettuce was fresh and sweet, unlike the plastic-ky no-taste lettuce in Msia llolololol  

Latte that is packaged like a beauty product! And I'm twenty years old 

And then we went to Lala 徐佳瑩's concert at 台北小巨蛋 woooooop
Can ride MRT directly to Taipei Arena so convenient!!!! 


SIBEH EXCITED SO I SHOW YOU MY FEET!!!! 


AHHHHHHH MUCH BRIGHT VERY PEOPLE
But honestly though, Taipei Arena's sound system is just superb. I went to multiple concerts in KL at different venues before and sometimes the sound is not perfect as there's always a bit of static here and there. 

This is how everything sounds in Taipei Arena
HD HEADPHONE SURROUND SOUND QUALITY BABY. I don't know, maybe Malaysian sound engineers are not that good? But srsly malaysia step your concert game up man


...AND ALSO MET 韋禮安 AT THE FAMOUS-PEOPLE-PHOTOGRAPHY-SESSION THING HAPPENING THERE. HE PASSED BY RIGHT IN-FRONT-AS-IN-NO-BARRIERS-15CM-IN-FRONT OF ME AND STUPID ME SAID 韋禮安 你好 BECAUSE I WAS TOO NERVOUS TO THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY 所以說機會是留給準備好的人 CRIES BUT AT LEAST HE WAVED AT ME LA #已被電死

Next day! 
@淡水無極天元宮
Springtime = sakura time!! 


PPL ARE CRAY CRAY FOR SAKURA


srsly a lot of ppl no joke




Here's a crap short video for you. 
video



It's 海芋季at Yangmingshan and lots of people were there to pick gigantic 海芋back home (need to pay one!!)


This was taken at Jiufen.

I guess that sums up the end of my post. There were many other places that I went to but I didn't capture any photos :( 

Things I bought:

MINI COKE!


Ok, I don't know am I the only one but at first glance, I saw the word SEX and I was like MY GOD WHY SO OPEN ONE THIS HOTEL??!! I stood further away from the wall then only can see suitcase x feeling lololololol why am i so dirty-minded 


Taipei rating scale:
Scenery:  
Food:  
Also kudos to Taipei for the insanely efficient public transport system and online shopping system, srsly will be bankrupt after a month living there because you can find literally anything you want to buy on the net, not to mention the fast delivery within 24 hours. In probably 10 years at Taipei you can probably shop online this second and get it within the next hour lololol ヽ(^。^)丿

Update (16/5/2015):
I can't believe I forgot to include the story of how a japanese guy approached us to ask for directions to his hostel. One night, about 1am, we were walking around Ximending because a) I wanted fried chicken for supper b) there's a 24 hour double storey Watsons store at Ximending that sells everything. The streets in Ximending at night was less busy compared during the day, but there's still some night owls here and there probably finding a place to drink or something. Suddenly, a japanese guy, dragging his luggage walked towards me and he awkwardly opened his arms trying to block my way. He spoke with a really prominent japanese accent. "execuse me, can yu help me? I cannots find my hostel" 

I quickly called for my couz because she was walking way ahead of me. Things that went through my head: wa ini japanese guy quite funny Ximending so big and there's so many Taiwanese walking by but instead he found two malaysians to ask for directions holy crap cannot handle the irony

Conclusion: we helped to find his hostel after spending an hour googling the hostel's address and map (his phone didn't have mobile data). The reason we spent such a long time searching the hostel is because the hostel is located at a mothereffing alley. Mothereffing dark creepy looking alley. I dunno why Taiwan so weird until alley can haz hostel one, somemore the hostel looked quite modern and not old and smelly. Malaysia alley only got rubbish. #大開眼界
And after we finally found the hostel, the japanese guy was like sank you sank you x100 while sweating really much (he was very nervous and tired) and gave us a 90 degree bow and then refused to let us go unless we accept his gift - a packet of green tea kitkat, which made me and couz felt very paiseh. We made small talk and found out he was actually a university student. He said he came to Taiwan to study history of World War II because lots of WW2 stuffs happened here. 
Unfortunately, he doesn't look like this:  

...or else there will be a 2nd part of this post all about my 艷遇 in Taiwan. 




Thursday, February 26, 2015

Guilin Trip

Happy Chinese New Year! I'm having a meh cny this year because I suddenly felt that it's the same old thing every year and I feel tired and sleepy all the time. Plus avoiding adults who kept wanting to butt into my future plans is hard work man. Dear adults, I don't wanna live your lives laaaaaaaaaaa live me alone in my personal box okkkkkkkkk
Hope you guys are having fun tho (.=^・ェ・^=)

I'm gonna continue with last year's Guilin trip today. I always treat my trips to other countries as an internet detox session and I'll leave my phone and laptop at home = quality family bonding time (Y)


Board on the plane thinking: this would be perfect if they have 韋禮安's album on flight. AND THEN BAMF 天公保庇 hashtag blessed :'D

We reached Guangzhou Airport safely and after a good night sleep, we went to this place called 黃姚古鎮.






The taufufa was awesome in the cold weather!



I got bored and played with my bro's furry ball thing that fell out of his beanie #mature


This sign is in my hotel room. #nice

Here are some pics where I looked like I hate my life very much. 
PS. That man behind is not taking a shit. 

This is me not hating life again #goodjobyty


hello im standing under a ginkgo tree. fact: the famous thomson 活性銀杏精華is extracted from this very tree. I think.


Fact: I climbed this pagoda.


Fact: There's a creepy dude in the pagoda who handed me incense sticks to pray while my bro ran away leaving me to deal with the creepy guy alone. 

(I survived)


Here are some really confusing pics. 
 I don't know what's happening here


The man who can't be moved literally


you're welcome, jeenie 

The next day we went to this place which I forgot the name, all I know is that it is fking cold and I nearly died hiking there. (but the scenery was coooools tho)

IT IS MINUS 2 DEGREES AND 9 IN THE MORNING 




Finally we hiked down the valley to this mystical place. It's still early and we're the only ones there 早起的鳥兒有蟲吃


And then we all rode the cable car to this mountain and we're the first customer. The cable car is quite small and even ancient than the Genting cable car. Talk about anxiety and nervousness

(I survived too)


is this what you guys call a candid shot????? HAHAHA
I'm breathing through my handkerchief because I can't really breathe in cold air my sinuses are terrrible 哭哭 not exaggerating when I said I nearly died 





TRANSPARENT BBY

THIS ONE ONLY CALL CANDID SHOT PLS PHOTO BY YTY


INFORMATIVE SIGN 
Oh ya this place is called 天脊 THANKS SIGN


Nope I didn't try dog meat

Next, we went for a boat rideeeeeee





SIBEH BREATHTAKING MACAM WINDOW'S DESKTOP BACKGROUND WALAO 


LOOK AT THE REFLECTION SO UNREAL TT WHEN WILL MY REFLECTION SHOW WHO I AM INSIDE


NOW I KNOW HOW MULAN FEEL

The next day we went for another boat ride again, but this time it's a bamboo raft instead of a boat.


soooooooo many raftsssss



THIS PLACE ALSO VERY BEAUTIFUL LA OK I GET IT GUILIN YOU ARE 世外桃源


The old uncle who navigated the raft was singing 山歌 all the way 好有fu

Below are some random pics to end this post
虞山公園

this is important for guys out there


Another mountain I briefly hiked.


Le sad frog


We also went to this place with this colorful signboard


And this cave with colorful lights effect which managed to attract many visitors. I think Batu Caves should definitely try this tactic and then get mega popularz. 


And this is me unprepared for a photo. Dear ppl on instagram, this is what you call "unprepared for a photo". If you don't look a lil bit hollow and emotionless in the picture, pls don't label it as unprepared. thank you this is sincerely a psa from yty


Ok before I go, if anyone out there uses this post as a guide to travel in Guilin (please don't), I just wanna tell you that YOU, YES YOU, CANNOT MISS THE 劉三姐show. It blew my mind and I sincerely think everyone should watch this masterpiece. I didn't take any photos during the show but my mom did and failed miserably because the show is set on a majestic lake at night under the stars and basically the amazing effects can't be captured as beautiful as irl. 


Found this on the internet. The mountains in the background are real!!!! ain't no crappy greenscreen!!1 


Guilin rating scale:
Scenery: 
Food: 
People:

゚・✿ヾ╲(。◕‿◕。)╱✿・゚