Wednesday, March 19, 2014

busy af (sodagreeeeeen

I figured I should post something since it's been so long and I don't want the story of me nearly breaking down in the mall on the very top of my blog wth

Er so many things happened

numero uno: SODAGREEN CONCERT *ovaries explosion*

I shook 青峯's hand twice TWICE              





TWICE






And his hand was pretty damn rough #歲月 X 操勞的痕跡

thanks to Sarah pabo, yuetqi and ah ling for the awesome pics (i was too busy fangurling)



MAH BOO WITH TEH RED LOUDSPEAKER


haha spot me in the picture below hahahahha hashtag desperate fangurl

(heavy breathing)

MY SAVED-TILL-DEATH RM380 VIP SEATING IS NOT WASTED HELLS YEAH

numero dos: 

My laptop broke down. This is a major issue since my laptop to me is like the sun to trees. (desperate till metaphors are used)

And I've already missed my Youtube dose for a month. good gracious




I think that's all for now 
Before I sign off, here's the world's 萌-est pic:




BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



Sunday, January 19, 2014

why I nearly broke down at the shopping mall

Nope, it's not because I ran out of money or I got lost in the mall sorry for disappointing you guys hahhahaha 

So there was I walking to Popular Bookstore because I needed to buy a receipt book (to claim money for my accountant/stingy dad) and a Form 4 history textbook (I am an early preparer). I was walking behind this man who was pushing a wheelchair up the escalator and in my mind I was like "man you should take the lift yoo". And then in front of him was a young little girl, I guess she was about 4 or 5 years old. We reached the second floor and then I saw the girl's face. She has Down Syndrome. 


Well, technically, to me she looked like she has Down Syndrome. Maybe she has some other disorder that I don't know (I'm not a doctor sorry). Don't get me wrong, people who has Down Syndrome are actually pretty common (Fact: Down Syndrome is the most common birth defect), but I don't know why, that girl hit me HARD. Like my heart got stabbed by a syringe of emotional hormones. 

I ignored these feels and continued to walk into the bookstore. After buying my stuffs, I saw the father and daughter again at the cashier. The father bought a coloring book for her and she mumbled something I couldn't quite interpret. The father seemed so loving and encouraging as if her daughter was normal. I could not stop looking at them. I tried. But I just couldn't peel my eyes away. 

All I want to do was to give them a hug or talk to them (sadly I have zero guts). But it just doesn't feel right. They probably wanted to be treated like normal people so all I could do was stare. I felt like a fucking asshole doing that but what else can I do? I thought of how many staring eyes they had to ignore every single day, how many judgmental stares they had to bear with every day. 

I thought about the father, who loves his daughter with his whole heart, ignoring her flaws and trying to be the best father everyday, to be brave and strong for his daughter. I thought about the daughter, who may not enjoy the things normal people can enjoy, just because of her flaws and disability. How strong humanity can be, but at the same time, how fragile it can be. 

I thought about how fortunate I am, walking around in the mall doing cny shopping with my mom. 

I thought about how shallow I am sometimes for overstressing on external quality.
I thought about how right Holden Caulfield is. 
I thought about how stupid this world is.



You know what, 
I want to get into the science field and contribute to humanity. 
I want to make a change.

And I believe, to make a change, I must first change myself.  
I want to read more books and listen to more great albums. 
I want to be informative.
I want to absorb more substance. 
I want a change. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Humour

幽默(Humour)

總是能看到外在世界或是自我有趣的一面,聽起來不太嚴肅,但它是獲得智慧的關鍵。幽默代表著一個人有能力從容地面對人生裡的種種落差:在對於人生的期待與生活現實之間、在夢想中的自我與真實的自我之間、在對他人的期許和他們真正的模樣之間。幽默就像憤怒,源自於失望,但它是一種妥善控制的失望。這是在面對悲傷時所能做的最好的一件事。
Yup, this is exactly how I developed my humour. From harsh realities, immense disappointment and just life in general. I think my brain has built some kind of system to be really (REALLY) accepting to how cruel and inconsiderate people treat each other. If I have not developed my humour, this girl right here might be already suffering from depression and anxiety (probably will if life still keep on throwing giant lemons at me). LIFE I NEED A BREAK
What I want to say is, be kind and be considerate. 


This is very ironic since it's only the beginning of the year and I'm already that tired sorry mom

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Forever

I am suggesting we resist a life that looks, in line-graph form, like it goes up and up and up and then it stops, and then it levels out, and then it stays on that flat plane until death. I hope to live a life that goes up and up and up until the end, with the inevitable dip here and there. I hope to continue to learn and change.

Forever is the state, exclusive to those between the ages of 13 and 17, in which one feels both eternally invincible and permanently trapped. When my parents were young, Forever was expressed through promise rings, names carved into trees, and photographs you could hold in your hands. In the years since, Forever has inspired many phrases and ideas popular among adolescents: Best Friends Forever, Together Forever, Forever Young. In more recent years, Forever, with its cousins Always and Infinity, has dominated young adult literature, differentiated the internet from the more fleeting IRL, and, one could argue, explained the popularity of thgalaxy print

Coveting youth also needs to be dealt with. I’m not afraid of being old; I’m afraid of being afraid of being old, which for some reason appears to be an inherent part of being old, because the examples out there of adults who aren’t trying to turn back time are few and far between. But a fear of aging turns every second into your enemy. It means that your worst nightmare is constantly coming true, unless you choose to die, which is a terrible choice to make. I generally like life—it lets me do things like eat good food, watch good TV, and have good friends—so I’d hate to have a bitter relationship to it, to hide from it, to dread it. I’d rather not romanticize a lack of knowledge. I’d rather be a wizard or a mad scientist or a walking encyclopedia. I’d rather get on with things than spend every day super pissed that we haven’t yet figured out time travel.
Finally, it’s important to take time to mourn Forever. I know this doesn’t have to be so tragic, I know I don’t actually want to stay in this place—but to effectively move on, I have to effectively wrap things up. Because I don’t want to long for Forever in small, unhealthy ways later, I have to honor it in big, creative ways now. Reflecting and archiving is not the same as dwelling in the past. It is not anti-living, but a part of life, even a crucial one. We do this to highlight one thing above others, so that a special moment can take up more space in our brains than an inconsequential one; so that, by plain math, our personal worlds contain more good things and fewer bad ones. Or more interesting things and fewer blah ones, since you have to record the bad, too. Like I said, Forever is not about being the best years of your life, just the most Forever-y.


http://rookiemag.com/2013/12/editors-letter-26/

man i wish i could write this well FUTURE ME I HOPE YOU'RE IMPROVING YOURSELF