Saturday, November 1, 2014

while tears drip

Money is not a problem, he said.


Yet, he continued, 

"I'll talk to your uncle if needed."




Hurriedly I left the room, giving the excuse that I'm going to do more research about the courses. I was on the verge of tears. 















Money IS a problem.



Thursday, October 30, 2014

start well, end well

Today is my graduation day from high school.

However, it's more than A graduation day because I did something I'm actually pretty proud of, now that I think of it. 

Ok, it started when the whole Form 5's were sitting in the hall waiting for the ceremony to start. So, Yi Chen passed his PJ t-shirt around so everyone can sign and write sappy stuffs on it. Me being the rebel I am, wrote a big fat "fuck you" on the back of his shirt because man, he did some really really unforgivable stuffs to me. 
But being the buddha/confucious I am, I didn't even go to have a word with him before because man, I'm so tired of shitty people, and let me tell you, there are those type of homo sapiens who are so self-righteous that no matter how you advise or talk to them, THEY'LL NEVER CHANGE OR EVEN SHOW A SLIGHT SIGN OF REMORSE.

Then I signed my lovely initial "yty" below my lovely "note" for him. 


When the t-shirt was passed to Ri Hong, he wore the shirt (real smart) and drew a big circle in his chest area (you know what that means) (real mature) and everyone was looking at him and laughing because face it guys, drawing boobs are funny. (This coming from a 17 year old high school graduate) 

Unfortunately, the laughter attracted the discipline teacher, Mr Joshua's attention and he friggin snatched the t-shirt away. Instantly, everyone looked back at me and was shitting bricks for me because well, I wrote an IMPROPER INDECENT VULGAR RUDE OBSCENE word on the shirt. And I was like, meh, and told Yi Chen to tell Mr Joshua that some random guy from another class whom he didn't know wrote that on his shirt if Mr Joshua came to ask him about the shirt.  

After that, we all went out of the hall and queued up to get up onto the stage to receive our certs. But the Principal was giving his speech so we all stood outside the hall and waited/talked/not listening to his speech. So in this very moment Mr Joshua walked towards Yi Chen and asked him about the shirt. Apparently Mr Joshua was furious because of the f word. FACE PALM x400000000

I DIDN'T PANIC. LIKE ZERO PANIC.
Because I was smart enough to write my initial instead of my full name. (the smartest thing I have done recently)
SO I'M LIKE HAHA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME MAN. 
(PLUS WRITING A CUSS WORD ON A SHIRT REALLY DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. 
LIKE THESE DAYS IT IS SO EASY TO FIND SO-CALLED FASHIONABLE AND TRENDY SHIRTS THAT HAVE WORDS LIKE FUCK BITCH ETC ETC ON IT.)

Moreover, those who were aware of the situation covered for me. They kept telling Mr Joshua that they didn't know who the hell wrote it and Jing Ghee, Siao Jin and mah other homies kept nudging me to hide behind them so he couldn't see my name tag. 
SO DAMN TOUCHED MAN

And then 葉老師was there and she's like, 誰這麼沒文化?

 Mah homies were like "應該是別班的學生寫的啦" And 葉老師was like, "問題是Mr Joshua覺得是你們班其中一個人寫的嘛,我覺得你們班不會這樣沒文化咯"


 沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化沒文化


GURL that made me hurt man, please don't involve my innocent classmates.


Mr Joshua then left because he couldn't get any juice from us but he still held on to the t-shirt. He is like those annoying buggers that won't stop sucking your sweet blood until they get enough. And then my responsible monitor Jing Wai went to apologize to Mr Joshua on behalf of Yi Chen and my whole class which made me damn guilty and angry at the same time. 
Guilty because: Jing Wai didn't have to do that. But he did that.

Angry because: Why is writing a harmless cuss word equivalent to vandalism or bully or even worst than that in teachers' point of view? DID I HURT ANYONE? NOPE. YI CHEN WASN'T EVEN OFFENDED BY ME OH MY GOD. IT'S.NOT.A.BIG.DEAL. WHY FUSS ABOUT THIS SMALL  MATTER?! 

STILL, Mr Joshua was unsatisfied. He wanted THE person who wrote it to admit it, even though the whole world apologized to him. So Jing Wai had to do what he had to do. He turned his back and walked towards me and quietly told me to admit to him. Everyone who was trying to protect me formed a crowd around me. (just in case Mr Joshua would pounce on me and claw my face) (jk) and Vanessa said 要不然我們一起道歉, 他就沒辦法了. I was so shocked and stunned when everyone was like preparing to give that beast a 九十度鞠躬 and I knew I can't be that selfish.

I walked up to Mr Joshua and apologized.
"I wrote it. I was being emotional and I wrote it because I didn't like him. I'm sorry I won't do it again."


just to make everything clear, I was not being emotional hahaha I'm just really good at apologizing because I know this man will not be satisfied if I just said "sorry" full stop. 


I didn't even stutter. I was so rational to the point I was trying hard to keep a sad face and trying not to roll my eyes when he was lecturing me. I never thought I was that brave hahaha. I found it funny as I was thinking what the hell have I got myself into and I was like "This guy is teaching how to be a good student when in reality he's forcing little kids against the wall just because of a four-letter word" 


When he finished his lecture, I was so damn relieved. What dreaded me was facing 葉老師who I could sense, was listening to the whole thing. I turned my back and walked towards her who was behind me and told her I was sorry for ruining the image of my class. And I told her that cuss words are just a form of expression and I wrote it because I didn't like Yi Chen. She said it's okay and the past is the past and mentioned that her son also always scolds cuss words at home wth. And then she asked me to forgive and try to think from Mr Joshua's perspective. 

She was being a bit hypocritical but I get it, adults are mostly hypocrites so I'm alright with that I guess.

Lastly, she told us to use this incident as SPM 華語作文的題材 lololol Everyone laughed. The end.


OH WAIT WAIT, the story doesn't end there.
Guess what, for the next few hours of the graduation ceremony, I kept catching Mr Joshua eyeing on me like I'm gonna go berserk and start stabbing people. It's getting so uncomfortable that I finally realized how celebrities feel getting stalked by the paparazzi 24/7. I also finally understood why those students with disciplinary problems hate discipline teachers so much. I would call the human rights department if I had my phone right then no shit IT'S TOO CREEPY



Spot my heroic words. 

As a conclusion, in this beautiful and fine day, I witness how united my class is, and how my school's discipline will be going downhill  and how there are people who are willing to stick up for me when I'm in deep shit. SO GRATEFUL 

I hereby stand strong and firm that I WILL NEVER, let me repeat, I WILL NEVER CEASE TO EXPRESS MY TRUE EMOTIONS AND WORDS TRUTHFULLY AS LONG AS THIS EARTH KEEPS SPINNING.

Thank you. 

Friday, September 19, 2014

Thursday, July 31, 2014

深夜之突發奇想

我覺得人需要擁有一段頹廢到一事無成的日子


一方面空蕩的腦袋可以吸取更多意想不到的靈感



一方面頹廢後振作會有種發自內心的舒暢 重新出發後對人生有另一種新態度新視角



此刻內心很需要注入一針像瀑布般清澈又活力的清水 



把自己弄醒








I need a break